My Life As A Mom of An Autistic Child: no sleep

My Life As A Mom of An Autistic Child: no sleep: "I don't think that i have slept in about 2 days, dustin has done nothing but scream, its like a big scream fest and he has not slept good at..."

no sleep

I don't think that i have slept in about 2 days, dustin has done nothing but scream, its like a big scream fest and he has not slept good at all. I ended up keeping him home today because he just was so tired and i was just 2 tired 2 go anywhere and of course i have done nothing but cough over and over and feel so terrible it has been such a long couple of days and then there are the family members who have just decided that they can live with their pain and suffering and they want the rest of us to live with it to and i just can't do it again watching someone who is living in this fake fantasy land until the next and we all know there will be a next time because there always is and abusers never change no matter how hard a person wants them to, i am beginning to think that only when they are looking at death in the face do they truly face the facts and that is a sad fact, i just can't do it anyone more i can't protect one family member over another and dustin will always come first no matter what happens to me or to anyone else he is first so i am just going to take care of my son and handle my own life and pray one day the cops don't show up at my door its all i can do for now, they are in there own hands and i can't help anymore there is just so much you can do for a person who refuses to help themselves so i will do what i have to for me and my son and pray for them because prayer is the only thing that is going to save them, one day people will learn to fight back and i hope that day comes sooner than later.

My Life As A Mom of An Autistic Child: Life as it was

My Life As A Mom of An Autistic Child: Life as it was: "Have u ever wondered how life was gonna be like when u were growing up, i knew that i wanted a big family with lots of children and now i wo..."

Life as it was

Have u ever wondered how life was gonna be like when u were growing up, i knew that i wanted a big family with lots of children and now i wouldn't have another child if my life depended on it. I love my son with everything inside of me but i don't ever want anymore ever and now i am a divorced single parent raising an autistic child and it is the hardest thing in the world.  I realize that i haven't been out on a date in 4 years since i got divorced no sex nothing at all in over 4 years how, sad is that but i watch a family go through so much pain all the time with a man and take abuse after abuse and still continue 2 go back and nothing that anyone does helps and she keeps choosing this man over everyone no matter how bad he treats her own children even though her children are adults she should still put them first and protect them and she doesn't they come last over and over and he has threatened them and been very cruel 2 them and yet she always goes back and keeps taking the abuse from him and letting her children take abuse from him, what kind of parent does that, i think its the reason that i haven't even tried 2 go on a date for fear of becoming like that, fear of putting my child second 2 a man and i refuse 2 do that, dustin will always come first no matter what and even if i remain single until he is old enough 2 be on his own if that ever even happens then so be it i will remain single i would rather be alone than put someone else before my son, i keep hoping that one day she will change or see the light but i don't think its ever going 2 happen i think she is so afraid to be alone that she would rather take abuse than be alone, but i keep praying that one day she will do the right thing for herself and for her children cause i know if she doesn't that one day her children are going 2 be out of her life for good and she wont have anyone but him and then god help her if that day ever comes.

My Life As A Mom of An Autistic Child: family members really do suck

My Life As A Mom of An Autistic Child: family members really do suck: "I am so tired of all of the family drama, I have enough problems of my own taking care of a child with autism and an aunt who is disabled an..."

family members really do suck

I am so tired of all of the family drama, I have enough problems of my own taking care of a child with autism and an aunt who is disabled and who cares no one they like 2 pretend like care and like they really do something but they are 2 busy being selfish and worrying about the drama going on in their lives, which they complain about all the time and yet they have created the problem that they are in and refuse to leave. What the hell is wrong with some people when u are being abused why would u stay and why in the hell when u get away would u go back and yeah maybe there isnt any physical abuse but there is every other kind that u can think of, and i do mean every dam kind of abuse. And yet the person always goes back they don't care how much there children have suffered right all with them and how much abuse they have taken just for them and yet they don't care they selfishly go back and go back and go back no matter the price and there is a price cause they go back and put us all through hell again they are on their own enough is enough i am 32 years old and i have grey hair i have to take xanax twice a day to stay calm and not have anxiety attacks i mean i have enough to deal with, deal with the fact that its all just things and u have a life without a man who abuses u every single day when r people going to learn, well i am done i will no longer be in there lives and they will no longer see me or my son ever again because someone has to take a stand against violence and i am going to be that person and it will no longer be around me or my child if u chose to stay in it well thats a choice u have to live, how long u live with it well depends on how bad u piss him off, anyway the choices u make r your own but i have to make mine and i have so if you go back you are on your own, i am sorry but i dont have any strength left in me to help u when u won't help yourself so good luck and i hope one day u figure out that u r better than the abuse that u take.  I hope women read this it is possible to leave someone who is abusing u whats the worst they can do, kill u, well if u r being abused and a prisoner in your own home well u r already dead at least if u leave u r trying 2 live so i hope this helps someone even if its not the person i want it to help.

Long day at home with my boy

Well I let dustin stay home from school today because we didn't get much sleep last night because he had a belly ache so i gave him mallox and pepto which seemed to help a bit then he was coughing quite a bit this morning so I figured it was best to keep him home for a day and of course he thought this is the day to torment mom and he has done it with much pleasure. He has done nothing but have bowel movements and pee all over the floors at least 5 times today and twice which he decided that playing in it would be even more fun so to which he covered himself in it along with the floors and the walls and anything else he could put his hands on, i have had to wash lots of laundry today and have never wanted a drink so much in life as i have today and by some miracle i did not  drink anything i don't know how considering how bad i wanted one after a miserable day like this i do know that dustin will be going to school tomorrow he has tormented me enough for one day and i need a few hours off cause of course as soon as he comes home from school the torture will be begin again and no matter how much i watch him its like he is so fast i mean turn your back for one minute and hes naked and playing in poop and i don't get it autism or not why he would want or how he could he stand the smell of it somehow i have to get him potty trained before i lose my sanity cause if i have to clean up floors and walls covered with poop for a few more years whatever i have left of my mind will be gone nine years is all ready a long time a few more and it will be over for me, there is just so much any person can take i just don't get how any parent can take expect when u have lots of help on a daily basis which i don't have at all so we will see how it goes maybe it will get better or maybe i will go crazy sooner guess we will see which one comes first