no sleep

I don't think that i have slept in about 2 days, dustin has done nothing but scream, its like a big scream fest and he has not slept good at all. I ended up keeping him home today because he just was so tired and i was just 2 tired 2 go anywhere and of course i have done nothing but cough over and over and feel so terrible it has been such a long couple of days and then there are the family members who have just decided that they can live with their pain and suffering and they want the rest of us to live with it to and i just can't do it again watching someone who is living in this fake fantasy land until the next and we all know there will be a next time because there always is and abusers never change no matter how hard a person wants them to, i am beginning to think that only when they are looking at death in the face do they truly face the facts and that is a sad fact, i just can't do it anyone more i can't protect one family member over another and dustin will always come first no matter what happens to me or to anyone else he is first so i am just going to take care of my son and handle my own life and pray one day the cops don't show up at my door its all i can do for now, they are in there own hands and i can't help anymore there is just so much you can do for a person who refuses to help themselves so i will do what i have to for me and my son and pray for them because prayer is the only thing that is going to save them, one day people will learn to fight back and i hope that day comes sooner than later.